Rockin'on, January, 1995

Jeff Buckley

Ohh! The song comes down!!
Bathe the expression, touch the existence!  The last “Artist”, Jeff Buckley’s telephone interview right before his visit to Japan & tickets giveaway!!

Interview: Hiroaki Tanaka, Interpretation: Steve Harris

Translation by Tutu Fujimoto

(audio of the interview can be found here)

It's said that 10 people with 10 different colors (Ed: this is Japanese proverb that means “no flakes fall on the same spot” or like that), but I wonder indeed, there is someone who doesn't select “Grace” as one of the best albums of 1994. A surprise at the fact that the one singer’s album, which is just trying to "express" himself, can ring beyond your favorites or genre. Honestly, I had been listening to music so far, always with my heart worrying that something called "universal expression" might never come out again. Music, it should be with different perspectives by each person. But I have a conviction that everyone’s first feeling is the same when they listened to “Grace”. I also have a conviction that it will turn to each person’s “Grace” and the album will take root into each person’s life after awhile. I think those who haven't listened to it should do it quickly. His first visit to Japan will may be a historic moment, for sure.

I heard that you asked the recording company for three conditions in the contract: honesty, patience and non-interference. What's going on, it's about time you finally saw the reality of the industry and began to feel a sense of compromise?

Nah, not really. Well, it was hard to fill the gap, but in the end, everyone understood that It was me myself who knew the best about my work...Not especially, I’m not saying what's going on with people in the music industry. Frankly speaking, the way of thinking itself in the industry is totally behind the curve. What it’s about is, they just keep on selling it without knowing what they’re selling...For example, they try to sell things in the same way as they sell substantial value things like steel, apples, or oranges or cats. So they make a very narrow-minded decision which is nothing but a strangely unequal and give-and-take. They've been doing things like scraping things by picking and dragging up from somewhere, and that's what the music business is all about. That kind of situation is starting to show up more clearly.  So, first, we make sure of our values, and then we communicate properly with the people who need to get along with. There’re only five people in my line of work in person. Make sense? That’s enough. It's in Sony, a world-class religious cult (lol). Oh well, the tribe of Sony, they’re everywhere.

Hahaha. It seems that some people are planning to make you a cult star in a ten-year plan.

Wah...Whaaat??? Who’s saying like that thing...woo, even if it’s so, that’s not my business.  If they had a plan, they would give me a place where I could make an album and then make more and more better ones. My works reflect the life. It’s alive. It doesn’t mean it has to be a yogurt (lol).

Okay, so...is there any artists whom you think “I want to be this kind of person”?

...Tom Waits, Lou Reed, and Allen Ginsberg, De Niro. Dylan, too. A person who has lived a real life.  A person who has gone through the flames one after another. Whether it be your own flame, or a flame which has been hated by others or raised to the position of God. Dylan’s previous album, and the one before that are fabulous in that meaning.

I think those people who just mentioned are people who have paid attention only to their works regardless of the times or trends. Is that around the point what you sympathize with them?

But I guess it reflects the time a little bit. I'm also writing something that reflects my own life. So as time goes on, the contents of the songs will change naturally.

But now everyone is crazy about you, isn’t it. Strange to say, it seems you are the person who is much talked about in personal computer communication.

You mean, among the internet? Kiddinnnnng?...(I’m) Glad. I simply appreciate it, but it's still weird...yeah, it's way too strange. How can I say..., Thank you Madam, Would you like French fries with it? Like that??

(lol). Well, but seriously I've never seen an article about you in a bad way.

Is it? I wonder how they like me. Music is kinda strange. For example, song you hate has been playing years and years. It’s so lame and insistent that you don’t even want to listen anymore. But one time, the moment that song becomes so important has come. Maybe it's because of your girlfriend, maybe it's because you met someone, or someone is dead...music is like that. It's not like Sega games. Once or twice: you touch it or not, it’s not like that simple. Song is, music is, it’s always hanging around you, tagging along like a hornet. Music is, it takes time to get its breath and live. So, I'm happy with all the praise, but on the other hand I think we need to keep everyone having a conversation with music.

Pearl Jam also has the same kind of mentality as you have, that is like being honest with yourself or not to be swallowed by the business, doesn’t it?

Yeah, it might be. Ah yeah, Jeff Ament has come to my show before. But no one wants to betray themselves? But I know I’m a prostitute. I'll do anything I can to do music. Those prostitutes do the same, huh? To do with fun as long as they do.

But you are more picky than prostitute?

Well, it's too early to pretend to be a conceptual artist. No need to hit your head against the wall like this way early. I’m just okay with that I could play for people who really want to listen. Besides, the art is, it can show its ability especially at the place where you can show the eccentricity inside of you as much as you want. So we need a really suitable place for that. That’s a bar, or a church. I’ve played at the burrito shop once. That was amazing.

It should be like those small space?

Because if you play in a stadium or something, the audience would go out to buy hot dogs and beer and so on. That's not a musical experience or anything. It’s just an event. If it was about me, it’s too sad to death. And in places like that, you can't hear a sound without such a good monitor. It's like wearing a condom and having sex, so I get frustrated.

By the way, I heard that the fact that there’s no lyrics translation in Japanese Edition is due to your own will?

That’s right. It took only five minutes to decide. Rilke's German poetry had to go through many translators to achieve a honest, accurate and poetic English translation. Even in the languages of Mexico, Pakistan or France, they have their own identities, and the logic itself is full of satire or rhyming games. You should “experience” those things by yourself. That’s why I thought that a translation was good for nothing. Ultimately, I guess I have no choice but to learn Japanese myself. But I need two pages of Japanese for one word, maybe? (lol)

So, do you mean that Japanese people should feel something more from the sound?

Yeah, and I want you to take the time to figure it out. About what meaning it has, for yourselves.

Rockin'on October 1994

“I'm Jeff Buckley. Tell people stories and invite them on a dramatic journey, I want to do a thing like that.” A strong, beautiful, and overwhelming presence. Gospel after mourning, the first interview with Jeff Buckley.

Interview: Hiroaki Tanaka 

Interpretation & photos: William Hames

Translation by Tutu Fugimoto

Submitted by Ananula

  It's as if he jumped out of the screen of New Cinema in the 70’s. Intelligent and neat features with a wild appearance. Crude. Delicate. Silent. Sobbing. Milky coffee and stubble. A sooty sofa and a guitar that is always in good maintenance. Many emotions and landscapes flash back when I look at his snapshots. I fell in love with this man at a glance.

  Jeff Buckley, who was introduced in “character & disk review” in last month’s issue. He is the brightest 27-year-old singer-songwriter in East Village, NYC right now. The EP “LIVE AT SIN-E” was released earlier this year as his record debut (not released in Japan). I tend to think, in these days, "This is what it is," even before I listen to the music just because it’s by the singer-songwriter who plays alone. For me it's like, that along with his appearance, it was a greeting card or like the gospel. It meant the emergence of unmistakable "talent."

  The album "Grace" that finally released shakes our sensory nerves from the first sound. And by the time the vocal (an amazing range of voice that captures all the fluctuations of his emotions) arrives, listeners are invited to a completely different height. And it's absolutely beautiful. Not to mention “Grace” or “Eternal Life” which is full of sublimeness as the title suggests, even "Mojo Pin" which is sung like a dreamer's babbling, dizziness and fascination, everything that passes through this person's body shows universal grace. Cover songs such as "Lilac Wine" (Elkie Brooks) and "Hallelujah" (Leonard Cohen) also ring as originally written for this person, just like the blues that oozes from his insides. And his guitar-playing that has become more free with the band, sounds super-skilled! I'm on the verge of prostration for him.

  I went to see Jeff Buckley on a U.S. tour out from coffee houses in the East Village. The place is “La Luna” in Portland, Oregon. The first thing that surprised me was the smallness of its capacity. The cafe is only about the size of a school audiovisual room with a few tables and sofas. His shows are always sold out in NYC, but is he simply not well known in the West Coast?

  I was sitting on the sofa watching him who had already started rehearsals. Well, I was confused that I had met him so easily, moreover, the instrumental surf music was full-volume and loud in the bar behind, so I felt somewhat uneasy. Jeff is playing drums along with Ventures and Dick Dale music from the bar even after the band left. Kind of... a weird guy.

  His manager calls Jeff to bring me in. He’s smaller than I thought. I’m about 170 cm (5.6 ft) or so, and he looks smaller than me. He shook my hand with an apologetic face but I heard that he was actually very nervous because he thought he had to bow to Japanese people at this time. The interview was held at a nearby taco restaurant.

It seems that quite a few record companies talked about contracts, but you were very cautious about that, weren’t you?

Yeah. I guess six companies were talking about contracts at the same time. But it's very intuitive to find out more than to choose. Because it's like finding a compatible woman, huh? Columbia was the best fit in the end. It’s a very big girl though (lol).

I heard you have much distrust of the music industry.

Right. I don’t trust it. I grew up in California. I’ve seen a lot of people who have lifted up to fame and quickly thrown away the very next week. So I can't help being cynical. Anyway, I can't trust someone who can say "You're amazing" even though he's never seen your show before.

For example, "Musician" magazine featured 6 pages of yours. You only released one live EP at that point, and I thought it was an exceptional treatment.

That was too early, and too long. It made me a little disappointed. It was like over-complimenting and a bit romantic perspective. Now I only have myself, friends and the music. So there is no room for the past to intervene.

I think that "romantic perspective" must be related to the story of your birth. Do you have any resistance to interviews that suggest your father's presence? But I dare say that it's an unavoidable fact that you're Tim Buckley's son, right?

What I know about my father is something I heard from someone. Because he broke up with my mom before I was born. If you want to know about my father, I'll give you the phone number of someone more familiar with him. Well, it’s nothing to do with me.

But it’s not good for our side (that tells your story to the public) not to touch your “bloodline” at all. 

That’s none of my business (lol). My stance on the matter is that if you try to get access to my music through another person, you will lose or waste something for sure. I am Jeff Buckley, that’s it. My life, my music, is very different from anyone else's. So I'm not thinking of attracting my father's fans or hippies in the same way at all.

Then why did you go out of your way to perform at Tim Buckley's tribute concert?

Uhhhhh! Every article I read about that is made into something romanticized. I'm in trouble.

But you've at least managed to reconcile your mixed feelings towards your father by appearing on the show, haven't you? Like it became a step for you to get refreshed and do your own musical activities.

I gave a quick performance instead of saying, "I want to go home early because I'm uncomfortable." In that sense, it's a step, isn't it?

Okay okay, I see. I heard you formed a band with Gary Lucas from former Captain Beefheart after that appearance.

It's a project called Gods & Monsters that lasted only a few months. We wrote almost 12 songs. "Mojo pin" and "Grace" were made with Gary then. I was the only one in that band who was directly inspired by the music after all. Then I thought I should do it solo. Well, we broke up amicably, but that's why I lost my means of making money. I booked every gig I can anyway. It was as if I’m hurting myself. So I think it was good that I was able to push myself to such a point by being alone. I've come to the conclusion that it's a waste of time and a boring life to spend on anything else.

Was the musical direction fixed when you were alone?

No, rather I was trying to let the music find me. And...I wanted to be a chanteuse. It's like a pub singer in French, you know, a singer in a cabaret or some bar like that. It's just a word for female singers, but men can be one too. I’m doing it pretty much. It's like going out close to an audience and telling a story, you know, something like a storyteller. Tell people stories and invite them on a dramatic journey, I want to do a thing like that. About roots, it would be old blues singers. Robert Johnson, Howlin' Wolf, John Lee Hooker, I've been listening to them over and over. I grew up in the lower middle class, so I can sympathize with them a lot. So I admit that I'm modeled on those people. But I just want to get the blues out of me, not just copy them.

Do you mean you grew up in an environment where you had to store blues in yourself?

Well, I'm not going to go into detail, but I can't empathize or sing without experiencing it. I can't sing a song, even a word, that I can't put my soul into.

The artists you've covered so far are Van Morrison, Leonard Cohen, Alex Chilton, they're connected on a certain line. It's kind of cult people or like that. Do you select those songs consciously?

It doesn't matter who's song it is. I did it because each moment in my life matched the song so well. For example, Leonard's "Hallelujah." One day, I was intoxicated with so much sadness, I was totally wasted after drinking whiskey and practicing this song. Right after that, I went into the gig as I was, and I was screaming like an animal. I'm singing that song with those experiences in mind. I have to be myself before the song exists.

I see. By the way, your improvisation seems to be very interesting. Compose songs suddenly, or sing on the spot inspired by the appearance of the audience who came to the gig.

Yeah, I do it often. Basically I make good use of the space. I'm the one who makes up the music, and so do the people who are in the same space, the events that are happening outside or in the news, or anything like that. It's important to exist there in the very moment. It's nonsense to have a boring joke or any meaningless conversation.

Then, please write a poem about how you feel about a weird interviewer who suddenly came from Japan.

I don’t think you’re such a weird, hmmm...I don’t know. If it's a special place like a live music club, something will come out, I guess. Then I think I'll do something when I play in Osaka. I'll do it specially for you.

Why Osaka? Does it have any special meaning?

Nah, I just thought Tokyo was too big (lol). It's hard to share moments in a big place, isn’t it?

I can’t make it to Osaka. I live in Tokyo.

Okay. I'll sing your name. And I'll recite you a poem.

No thank you, I would be embarrassed.

I’ll do it for real.

Okay, alright, Thank you. But I expected you to be a difficult and quiet person just by looking at your photos...

I talk a lot, don't I? Wow! Tell everyone, “You should be very careful, especially girls, because he's such a dope! You’ll never know what’s going to happen! Wheww!”

  I waited for the show to start after this, waited, but the audience didn’t gather much. It was about 40 people in the end. Jeff brings out a candle from the table on the darkened stage and starts to string new strings from the light. After 10 minutes of tuning, the guys behind me who were chatting and laughing over coffee went on stage. The band members. This is the way it goes all the time. But when I get caught up in the whirlpool of excitement that comes right after this, I want to think even that was an exquisite presentation.

  Is this the same guy who said "Wow" or "Wheww" while devouring Mexican food? First of all, I was overwhelmed by his presence in holding the guitar and singing "Mojo Pin" standing still. Indeed, there might have been some people who had gathered to find the image of “somebody” on him that day. But that's quite a misconception. Who was standing there was Jeff Buckley, the overwhelmingly outnumbered individual. I can't help thinking that being in the same space with him is an incredible happening for me. The reason why he held my mind until the last “Kangaroo” is, not to mention the beauty of the songs and his rich and soulful voice in them, because of Jeff’s overwhelming presence. That’s it, no doubt. I'd love to say this, too. "Wow! This guy’s show is damn heavy and you must be captivated by its beauty that you've never seen before, Whewww!"

Rockin'on, Apr. 1995

By Hiroaki Tanaka, Interpretation by Steve Harris
Translated by Tutu Fujimoto

(audio can be heard here)

  I wrote, "His performance in Japan is going to be a historical moment", however, I didn't mean that I wanted to insinuate an incident that occurs like when Dylan appeared in Newport with his electric guitar. Each person gathered that day had something engraved in their mind, it also would be etched into each life as a permanent memory...I intended the meanining to be that such an incident should be waiting.

     On Jan. 30, the Shinjuku Liquid Room, which was eagerly awaiting Jeff Buckley’s Tokyo debut, had already released the heat of tent shows and the aroma of night cafes before the performance started. The noise in the hall rings as one chord in response to the appearance of the band. A moment of silence given to the man following up the band. If Jeff was an artist, everyone gathered on this day was a director. The band started to play “Mojo Pin”. Jeff's voice was waiting for something to come down to the very last minute of being late for the rhythm. And each audience's memory of life was absorbed into Jeff’s perfect appearance which had started to sing quietly. “Grace”, “So Real”...every moment the audience of 18 years-olds, 35 years-olds, men or women, those who filled the hall bathed in his songs, a small thing at the corner of their memories is led back to a big drama. It tells you that there is a story in life that seems to be nothing unusual, like an encounter, a break-up, taking a test, a family trip or anything. It’s exactly like a story teller, or chanteuse, when speaking of Jeff.  By the time “Hallelujah” was sung at encore, the hall was colored with the pale red and green of revolving lanterns. Quite a few people were standing in a daze after the performance, and I wondered if Jeff could realize that it was in great admiration of him.

     I was able to listen to a demo of a new version of “Eternal Life” while waiting for the interview. I'll report that it was as hard as if Pearl Jam were playing in the background. When I started running the tape, Jeff started to answer quietly putting brand new strings on his Rickenbacker. I was surprised to see that his boyishness was only emphasized when I looked at him closer, contrary to his appearance on the stage.

******************

I was surprised to find that the “Eternal Life” I had just listened in the office downstairs was much harder than the one you recorded in “Grace”. Will that version be released?

Yeah, it seems to be so. There needed to be a song for a B-side. We didn’t know there was a demand for a ‘B-side song’ in Europe or Japan. “Grace” was a complete work by itself, but the arrangement of “Eternal Life” changed while we were doing it in the live shows. I couldn't get one riff out of my head. So, I re-made it way harder based on that. Actually, I've forgotten the old arrangement, and I can't play it even if you asked me to.

Do you think music is going to grow like a living thing?

I think music changes and evolves in ways different from the writer's wishes. While you're playing the same song for years, or months, it may be fine, then you may feel that it's not working well for some reason.  You should either change your approach or not play the song for a while. Also, songs sometimes have a deeper meaning with time. Some songs might lose power. But this is the first time I've ever recorded, I mean properly recorded, all of those changes.

I understand that a guitar riff has come up to your head, is that kind of inspiration coming from the inside or by the stimulus from the outside?

Hmm...Epiphany is something that happens to everyone. To any person who has lived any life. It often happens when you're faced with difficulties and having internal tension or conflict. I suddenly realized that I had found an answer, or the door to a solution had opened. Like that. Everybody is the same, I think. In the creative process, an accumulation of those things that are the words you feel, some vibes, are always written and collected, or deep thinking is necessary to receive inspiration. Because you have to be trained to demonstrate the strength to cling to the inspiration when it flashes. I think other artists do it in that way.

You mean, if you keep your ideas in this way, you can sublimate your inspiration into something concrete, right?

My advice...record your dreams. Your dream is yourself and part of you. It tells you what you want to know. And, respect the ideas that even seem so ridiculous. Don't throw away any ideas that look silly.

What do you mean by “respect”?

It’s about having the strength enough to give them the same space as the most complex and lofty ideas even if they are considered trivial. What the best idea is...the artists, most of them I know are the same, may have deep self-hatred (with bitter smile). The best of our ideas are often the most pointless and stupid of all. The reason is that our attitude towards it change and we feel love for it again. Make sense? It's very useful to accept yourself. It’s difficult though.

I see. You’re saying that you should not throw away the love letter that you failed to send.

(Lol) Never. You shouldn’t burn your own poetry notebook like me. It's certainly too hard to look back on everything in detail. But some of them were certainly very good things. There's always a side to make up for what I thought was bad.

What does it mean that you burned it even though you’ve understood that so well?  Was it a particularly difficult time when you wrote it down?

Well...no, I've always had a destructive feeling, and sometimes I have an urge to break things. Usually break something about myself. It's not self-torture, I can burn things out of my world quite cruelly.

I don't think you would like to tell us the details. By the way, what's the first chord that you're going to play unconsciously when you hold the guitar like that?

The first chord that comes up to my head.

Is it different every time?

Yes.

I see (lol).

Usually, it's a chord that can be pressed with one finger.

Are you attracted to the chords that use open strings?

Yeah, I love it. For example, I think it's similar to going to the piano, dropping my hands, and adopting something that sounds good.

Do you write songs with piano also?

Sometimes. But I mean it's like that kind of approach. If it looks beautiful, the tone is beautiful, and the feeling of play is good, I’m okay with that. I like to use my thumb, as a bass sound. About the chords, there was a time when I could explain complicated things like those used in classical music or jazz. But just like when I studied French, at first I remembered it, but later I forgot them all. Now I play the guitar sensuously.

By the way, you were attending a kind of music school.

I was just satisfied with curiosity, I wanted to know about the chords. I don’t need it anymore. I think that the fact that there was such an intense period of music study taught me the pleasure of playing naturally. Now I think it’s good pursuing the two points; the sounds I can hear, and the feeling that I can obtain from it when I play them.

I see. I feel like I’m listening to the story of the law of casualty. By the way, it’s also my preconception about you, we have an impression of that you’re such a sourpuss and nervous person who sometimes flips out.

Seriously?  How come? Did I do something bad?

(Lol) First of all, I think most people feel that way because of your appearance. Look this cover photo on the CD.

Hmmmm, I certainly look introverted.  But I’m not such a nervous person. I don't particularly care about how I interact with people and I don't ask for irrational things. I’m quite normal. Except for only thinking of something all the time. But...I've actually been fired twice for being like that.

You see what I’m saying.

Yeah, it’s absolutely the cause for one of the two. Even though I was doing my job well, it seemed to my superiors I was distracted from concentration.

What was that job like?

I was a salesperson at Banana Republic on Broadway. I was advising a customer whether the clothes would look good or not, but I couldn't flatter them. I was told that I needed a superficial friendliness, even if I was thinkibg about something else in my mind. But I couldn’t do that. I can only be myself. If you talk with me, I think you'll understand it. There’s a case that you may be deceived by the impression-I'm sure it's going to change from what you expect of me. For those looking for a hero, it would be better that I’m an introvert. Or in the case you want to make me a reckless person. But in actuality I'm not one of them, or I may be all. You can't understand it until I see you one on one.

I can understand it so well. But I just wonder you got fired because you can't say a word of flattery?

Well, specifically speaking, I was told that I had stolen something even though I hadn't. A security guard said, “You look wary. You must be hiding something.” I explained, “basically I'm a musician, so I have a lot of thoughts”, but they couldn’t understand me. I can only be a complete outsider or a complete underdog in general society. I've worked with people who don't drink with me even after work, and I've got such a stupid eye for observation. An inventor and a dreamer...the sound of music is going off in my head all the time anyways. If there wasn’t music, I would be hanging by my neck with a demo tape in my hand.

This may be a silly question, but what does it mean to you singing a piece of work that projects your life in public?

Specifically speaking, in my case, it’s to speak my mind as it is. Music is like a drug, it's similar to telling your secrets with people around you after one hit of Ecstasy. It’s like I'm going to burst into tears saying “I love you, we’re the best of friends, right?” I'll admit that I hadn't been accepted before, so then it make me feel refreshed. Of course the next day, it'll feel like a hangover and I'm going to be in the depths of my regret (lol). It's hard to get used to publishing yourself to others, but I'm getting used to the fact that I'm not used to it. I mean, I dare to expose things that others may not understand at all. Well, I'm trying not to think too much about this but there's a fear of being cheated and knocked down.

You have something like a lone-wolf-feeling that doesn't belong to any of the present school.

There are a lot of lone wolves in this universe. The real meaning of the word "alone" is "all one." Humans usually want to act in groups. And they also need to be properly accepted by others. But if you were there, you can’t make real judgements whether you’re going up or down. So I can’t trust that kind of thing.

It’s like, you have the illusion that you were accepted, even though it wasn't real?

Or you have the illusion that you are right because you are accepted...I don’t know. One of the rules of humans is that they must know what they believe. Even if they ignore it for years. You should know what you believe, live according to it, love according to it, and accept what you are. It may sound like I’ve actually done it, but I haven’t. I'm still looking for it. I need it especially now. Why? Because...the conditions of how you accept yourself are too subjective and you don't know when those conditions will change. I think the more important thing is to know yourself, your own sounds, who you love, why you love and why you are loved than to be accepted.

There are artists who are using their past damaging experiences as a driving force for creative activities. How about you?

Hmmm (he stops playing the guitar that he had been playing during the interview)...I think it's important that art comes out of joy. It’s not good that only sadness drives you, is it? Joy has more power. But there are a lot of cases that you can hear nothing but sadness. I’m often hurt and I've hurt someone as well. What drives me from the core is the fact that it happened. The fact that I've had that much experience as a human being...No matter how much I want to be good to the world, no matter how much the world wants to be good to me, there are countless obstacles here. That’s “the world.” The demons are planted in all humans at some stage of growth.

What you just said seems to be related to the story that your boyhood was a series of moves.

I don’t know but...growing up in such an environment has had both positive and negative effects. It's a positive thing in a way that adaptability has been refined. I have come to observe people's natures deeply. I mean I had to do that. I had to give up my sense that it’s safe because it was a place like school or a school yard or a restaurant. I’m constantly observing around me and constantly checking for myself as well, just like that. But it didn’t bother me because I’m the kind of person who can’t put down roots. The only problem is that it affects relationships with people or things. I don't have any obsessions with pet dogs, foods, money, or friends. I can pick up someone's mind and easily let it go. An eight-year-old boy who had to pack up and move quickly is still inside me. I’m always battling with this. I have to tell myself all the time “Now it’s different, I can settle down here, and I can keep company with these people, I don't have to say goodbye unless I die in a traffic accident.” Well, on the other hand, I think I'm grateful that I came to think “life is short, nothing goes on forever.” No, it’s also a matter of trouble with me.

You mean, you’re a stranger wherever you are?

Yeah. What I've learned is that it all means nothing, no matter how gorgeous and what good conditions people seems to live with.  Fixed rituals, fixed values, they have no meaning at all. I've always been isolated and saying "fuck you" from the time I recognized it. Because I grew up in an average, conservative, white neighborhood like Anaheim and Riverside. There's no racial union, there's a lot of prejudice, and people live in a dream world. I didn't feel too attracted to, and I was by no means a part of it.  I couldn't bear the feeling that I was being tortured just by sitting. If you can't understand that there is a vast world outside, you'll be dead.

The last question. Which do you like better, the idyllic scenery of the country or the bustle of the city?

The city. If I’m living in the country, I’ll be crazy without a situation like I have to run my own farm. I've been to Bearsville once to try writing songs in a remote area of the mountains.  Not surprisingly, there's no 24-hour shops and I can't even drop by a cafe.  There’s nothing there, really. There was a television in the cabin, but why was there a television set where I was trying to create something? And it's just like the one that comes out on “Friday the 13th”, it's almost likely to be done by a chain saw. Anyway, that kind of splatter scene only comes into my mind 24 hours a day. So I don't want to go to the suburbs anymore (lol)...Tokyo looks like Brooklyn in the 20s. Especially Shinjuku, it’s so beautiful. If I could stay longer, I think something would be born.